


Late Nights and Bad Life Lessons

by Sleepless_in_Starbucks



Series: Parental Remile [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Coffee, Food mention, Gen, Kid!Roman, M/M, Parental Remile, Remy being a bad dad, Sleep Deprivation, but a fun way, but not in a bad way, death mentions, kid drinking coffee, stabbing mentions, thank goodness they have emile honestly, they're a family because I'm WEAK for parental remile
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-11-02 00:24:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20558969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepless_in_Starbucks/pseuds/Sleepless_in_Starbucks
Summary: Why was Emile the only rational member of his household?Based on this Tumblr post: https://more-incorect-quotes.tumblr.com/post/187559721752/emile-remy-sweetie-i-think-youve-had-enough





	Late Nights and Bad Life Lessons

3 am was not a time to be up, in Emile’s opinion. He liked to believe it was an opinion commonly shared with the rest of the world.

Of course he’d fall in love with one of the few exceptions to that general rule.

He had been happily dreaming of Disney crossovers when a loud crash from downstairs had waken him. After shooting up in bed and waiting a beat, hoping it was just his imagination, he heard shuffling and whispers. He glanced at the other side of the bed.

Empty. How wonderful.

He pulled on his glasses before more or less stumbling down the stairs, expecting to find Remy making some chaotic meal he called a nighttime snack. The kitchen, however, was empty. The hushed whispers were coming instead from the living room, where Emile found his husband and their son sprawled on the floor, a mess of markers, paper scraps, glue sticks, and glitter around them.

They continued working, unaware of the only functioning member of their household’s presence until he cleared his throat. The whispering abruptly stopped as they turned to look at him, both wearing deer-caught-in-the-headlights expressions.

Remy collected his wits first, smirking at Emile as he said, “Good morning, babes.”

“It’s 3 am.”

“That does make it morning.”

“Not for respectable people.”

“Bold of you to assume we’re respectable.” Roman cut in, taking a sip of what appeared to be hot chocolate from his castle mug.

Emile rubbed at his eyes. “What are you two even doing up? You have school in a few hours, Ro. And your father really just shouldn’t ever be up late.”

“I have coffee.” Remy said, lifting his own ‘sleep is for the weak’ mug before taking a hearty sip.

“And I have homework!” Roman answered.

“Is it due tomorrow?”

“Yes!”

Emile frowned. “What have we said about procrastination?”

Roman sighed. “Don’t put off tomorrow what you can do today.”

“That’s right.”

“…Unless you’re confident you can do it fast enough tomorrow to finish it anyways.”

“That- what?!”

“Dad taught me that half!”

Emile glared at Remy. Remy shrugged, grinning. “What can I say? It’s one of my life’s mottos! I’ve got to pass on my wisdom.”

“Your wisdom is nonsense.” Emile replied, moving to sit down next to Remy. Closer up, he saw the project Remy and Roman were working on was a poster board. “What class is this for?”

“History.” Roman answered, leaning forward to gesture at various elements of the board. “My project is on the Ides of March!”

Emile watched while Roman pointed out the details, such as the names of the people who had stabbed Caesar being highlighted in rainbow colours, the ‘artist’s rendering’ that consisted of stick people with evil smiles stabbing toothpicks into a sad stickman, and the fact that the entire board was covered in a healthy sprinkling of glitter.

“It’s certainly all very creative.” Emile commented after a moment.

Roman smiled broadly. “Thanks! It was actually going really boring until Dad suggested we make things more interesting. He even found the glitter!”

Remy nodded enthusiastically before taking another sip of his coffee. “Everything goes much more quicker when you’re having fun! Speaking of fun, my knightly prince, do you think you would get extra credit for props? Because I think we have some red Kool-Aid around here that would make some delicious tasting blood.”

Emile’s frown deepened. He glanced at Remy’s mug. “How many cups of coffee have you had?”

Remy drained the cup before answering, “I think I just made it three. Or four. Since midnight anyways.”

“Remy, sweetie, I think you’ve had enough coffee…”

Remy snorted. “You can _never_ have enough coffee. I already taught Roman that.”

“Excuse me?” Emile turned to look at his son. “Roman, what did your father teach you?”

Roman took another sip from his own mug, which Emile was beginning to suspect wasn’t filled with hot chocolate. “’More espresso, less depresso.’”

Emile turned back to his husband, who didn’t look even a little ashamed. “You are a horrible role model for our son.”

“I’m just giving him the lessons that have gotten me through life!” Remy replied before starting to get up. “And speaking of espresso-”

Emile grabbed his arm, pulling him back down before he could go anywhere. He took the mug away from him for good measure, ignoring the pitiful whine Remy made and his following attempts to get the empty cup back. He turned to Roman.

“Go to bed.” He said, kind but firm. “A prince needs his beauty sleep.”

“But the project-”

“-looks nearly finished.” Emile interrupted. “You can finish it tomorrow during your dentist appointment.”

“I don’t have a dentist appointment tomorrow…?” Roman said, confused. Emile winked and his eyes brightened. “Oh! I mean, uh, yeah. Dentist appointment. The perfect time to finish homework projects.” He scrambled to his feet and started for his room.

“Oh, and Roman?” Roman stopped at the foot of the stairs to turn back towards Emile. His Papa smiled. “Forget everything your Dad has ever told you.”

“Consider it done!” Roman responded before heading up the stairs calling out, “Thanks Papa!” over his shoulder.

Emile sighed fondly before turning back towards Remy, his husband pressed into his side while his arms waved wildly in a poor attempt to get his mug back. “And now we need to get you into bed.”

“Not tired.”

“If you weren’t tired, you wouldn’t be chugging coffee to keep yourself awake.”

“Fair, but now that I have chugged that coffee, I am not tired.” Remy countered, giving up in his fight for the mug to just slump against Emile, resting his head on his shoulder.

“Oh, really?” Emile asked, smirking as Remy failed to completely stifle a yawn. “I bet you the rest of the brownies that you’ll be asleep in five minutes.”

“Sugar, I love you, but you’re a fool if you think I can’t manage another five minutes in the name of brownies. I could manage a whole ‘nother night in the name of brownies.”

Emile didn’t respond, instead moving the arm Remy wasn’t leaning against to run through Remy’s hair, gently scratching at his scalp as he did so. Remy melted even more into Emile’s side before making a sound of protest and attempting to pull away. “Noooo that’s cheatinggg.”

Emile shifted before Remy could get away, trapping him in a loose hug, slumped even more so that his head was against Emile’s chest. He lowly started to hum Once Upon A Dream, and Remy’s fight was over before it really began.

“You’re such a cheater.” Remy murmured, wiggling in a last-ditch attempt to escape Emile’s grasp. It didn’t work. “Being so warm and soft and cuddly.”

“It’s my get-my-idiot-husband-to-sleep feature.” Emile responded playfully. Remy gasped dramatically, the gasp turning into another yawn halfway through.

“I thought you loved me, and here you are, insulting me while I’m at my lowest.”

Emile pressed a kiss to Remy’s forehead, pulling back with a smile. “Does that make it better?”

Remy didn’t respond, opting to try and bury his head even deeper into Emile’s chest. Emile almost thought he had fallen asleep when he heard a mumbled, “I love you.”

Emile smiled, tightening his grip around Remy until he felt his husband’s breathing even out, him going completely limp in Emile’s arms.

He remained there for a moment, knowing that when he decided to move back upstairs it came with the challenge of making sure Remy didn’t wake back up, Remy being much too light a sleeper given how rarely he actually slept.

“I love you too.” He whispered before he scooped up Remy bridal style, slowly, carefully making his way back upstairs. In the morning, they would fight about whether five minutes had passed before Remy fell asleep, about whether or not Remy deserved any of the share of the brownies while Roman slept in upstairs, his alarm having been turned off as soon as he heard about his ‘dentist appointment.’

When he finally woke up and came downstairs, he’d find an empty brownie tray and his dads attempting to work on his project, both with chocolate stains around their mouths.

But for now, Remy and Roman were asleep, Emile soon following as he tucked him and his husband into bed, Remy sleepily curling around him the moment Emile laid down.

3 am was not a time to be up. But it seemed to Emile it was a wonderful time to just be falling asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr: https://sleepless-in-starbucks.tumblr.com/


End file.
